FanPost

Ranking Royal Rumbles: Number 14-2005

Royal_Rumble_2005.10.0.jpg

royal-rumble-2005.0.jpgGOOD QUAD ALMIGHTY!!!

( An annoying inter-television rivalry mixed with ridiculous beatings=one strange Rumble)

Storytelling: 3/5 Stars

Match Quality: 3/5 Stars

Finish: 3/5 Stars

Winner: 3/5 Stars

Extracurriculars: 2/5 Stars-That Raw vs. Smackdown angle really hurt the experience for me

TOTAL: 14/25 Stars

Great Moment You May Have Forgotten: This is the match where this happened, Paul London is a champ for taking that.

Moment You Wish You Weren't Reminded Of: Muhammad Hassan...anything at all to do with Muhammad Hassan

_________________________________________

Well first I would like to thank everyone who has stayed with me as we have passed the halfway point. I feel as this is the last Rumble match when the overall quality of the match was more negative than positive, although not by much, and I hope to continue the next 14 lovely matches with you.

With all that said, this was a wacky Rumble with a lot to cover, both small and large. The big overlooking story line was the split between Raw and Smackdown brands, as wrestlers, commentators, and backstage personalities were fighting with each other over which show was better. If I had to pick one thing that really dragged this down in the rankings, it is the overplaying of that gimmick in a match where it shouldn't matter. We had Jim Ross and Taz in a war every time a new superstar entered, one point featuring 4 v. 4 where it just ruined the flow, and the finish which was dominated by which referee wanted which wrestler to win. Because this was a jam packed Rumble with good and bad moments, I will try to cover this one as chronologically as possible.

It starts off with a battle that was great in 2005 and horrible now, with Eddie Guerrerro vs Chris Benoit. After they show their moves, young hot shot Daniel Puder comes out, talking like a man who knew his minutes were numbered. Guerrero, Benoit, and eventually Hardcore Holly went to town on him, with more chops than a slaughterhouse. It's painful to watch now knowing all we know, but during the time it's hilarious.

Eventually we get perennial favorites like Edge, Mysterio, Jericho, Booker T (he of the "let's do a spinarooni in the Rumble and get eliminated" group), The Shelton Benjamin Treatment, and for some reason Luther Reigns (older brother of Roman?) into the match. At this point, Raw GM Eric Bischoff and Smackdown GM Tag Team Teddy come out and force it to become a 4 on 4 multi man brawl that just ruined the flow and pitted heels against heels and faces against faces.

But everyone came together to reunite when the gimmick of destruction came. Yes Muhammad Hassan, arguably the most ill-planned gimmick in the history of the business, came in and was defeated for America. I could go on about how insensibly racist this gimmick was, but needless to say, Hassan wasn't done and proceeded to mutilate Scotty 2 Hotty as he entered the ring (Poor Scotty, he's been humiliated in so many Rumbles, more to come later). If I never watch another match with Hassan, it'll be too many.

The second half featured a lot of the best wrestlers of the time, such as Kane, Christian, Snitsky (and Paul London's body on a swivel), Charlie Haas, and Renee Dupree (which JR mistakes for Haas frequently). We also had Simon Dean (what a waste of a spot), Johnathan Coachman (a real waste of spot, who finished in top 8 and stayed in for 15 minutes!) and Viscera (You know how that ends, either a bunch of people lift him out, or just Cena alone). So overall there was a mixed bag of mediocrity pulling in this Rumble.

Oh, did i forget to mention something? What could it be? Oh yea, THE AWESOMENESS THAT IS KURT ANGLE VS. SHAWN MICHAELS!!!! After Angle complained fought valiantly to get in this match, he goes on a tear, Suplexing and Angle Slamming everyone until HBK kicks him out. An irate Angle goes back in and eliminates Michaels (does anyone understand that official rule yet?), then proceeds to bludgeon and brutalize him on a staircase that has a smiley face on it (I'm not kidding look at it later). This was fantastic storytelling to a match that certainly did not disappoint come Mania.

After Coach was finally eliminated, and Christian fell into his lap dog Tyson Tomko, the final 6 saw Cena,Batista,Benoit, Edge, Mysterio, and the Nature Boy. Fast forward a few shenanigans later by Flair and Edge, the remaining two are Cena and Batista, the two pushed stars who were about to take the next era of WWE by storm.

What happens next is pure insanity and has been questioned for over a decade now.

Batista goes for a Batista bomb, trips and falls out of the ring with Cena. They both hit at the same time (although since the rule is both feet must touch the floor, and Cena's foot landed on top of Batista...just saying), and chaos ensues. Respective referees call for their show's wrestler winning, each man throws each other out, and only one man can settle this debacle.

That man is Quaddy McQuadtear.

Yes Vince Mcmahon comes fuming out of the locker room into the ring, hits his leg on the ring, and tears his quad trying to initiate a restart. It's hilariously painful and one of the best bloopers in WWE history.

Well once the Goldust settles they restart the match and Batista throws out Cena. It was rather finally anti-climactic, and the true winner is still debated to this day, but at least the WWE didn't do a stupid tie like in 94. It wasn't perfect, featured a lot of awful gimmicks, and the strangest ending in history, but the 2005 Rumble was passible enough to reach the top half of the countdown.

If you or a loved one have a torn quad, don't do what Vince did and just watch Vince do it here. Tomorrow's Rumble winner owes a debt of gratitude to one of the all-time great wrestlers for his win. Plus stop me if you've seen these two giants bickering in the ring before. Whoever will they be?

Ranking Royal Rumbles: A Retrospective

Number 28: 1995

Number 27: 1988

Number 26: 1991

Number 25: 2015

Number 24: 1989

Number 23: 1994

Number 22: 1999

Number 21: 2014

Number 20: 2011

Number 19: 1993

Number 18: 1997

Number 17: 1996

Number 16: 2009

Number 15: 2013

The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Cageside Seats readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Cageside Seats editors or staff.

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